Nick Fury is always late to the weekly SHIELD briefings that they hold in the big auditorium and so to cover his ass Victoria Hand always does her own little “pre-presentation” as a warm up, she’s got slides and everything
Except that her presentation always starts with “The Current State of the Gay Agenda” and just devolves from there
She makes a weekly list of SHIELD agents that are getting fat and it’s usually just Maria Hill and Maria yells “up yours, Tori” from wherever she’s sitting
She lists the hookups that have happened between agents in the past week and 95% of it is just her and pretty new recruits that don’t know any better
Halfway through she does a bit about how Clint Barton fucked up this week and if he could please leave the auditorium, just get the fuck out of her sight please and thank you
She usually ends the meeting by setting goals for the Gay Agenda this week and then complaining about the food in the lunch room and at this point Nick Fury will have wandered into the auditorium late as always and she goes “Ladies and gentlemen Director Fury!” Every single time like he’s presenting a fucking award
At some point someone asks him why Victoria even gets to do an opening presentation and he’s like “because she has important things to say!” And everyone just side eyes him but he’s not fucking admitting that he’s always late to the meetings
Because of EMH goddamn that stupid cartoon ruined my life, but seriously they are so ridiculous in it and the Hulk is clearly super into Hawkeye and it’s just…. ugh, I miss their dumb faces.
So it doesn’t really spring from the comics at all? But it kind of carried over in my brain. Because sometimes I just smash it all together cause it’s easier.