New covers! New creative teams! New looks!
AND THE NEW FF BOOK IS LITERALLY THE WORST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. AND I HAVE SEEN MY OWN BONES AND SURGICAL TOOLS STICKING OUT OF MY FUCKING BODY.
I hope you know how much I love you, Tumblr. I feel filthy just saving that image to my computer in order to post it here. I need to take a shower with all of my clothes on.
Scott Lang! The most inoffensively boring Ant-man!
She-Hulk! Wondering why the fuck she can’t get a decent book of her own again!
Medusa! Currently smashing her fist into a mirror and screaming I AM ROYALTY GODDAMNIT I AM BETTER THAN THIS.
And introducing…..miss thing. I can’t even apply proper punctuation. miss thing. For those of us that feel like vomiting, here’s the official word!
‘new character Miss Thing, wearing a suit of armour and described by Fraction as a, “Lohan-esque celebutante blonde’
I TRUSTED YOU. I TRUSTED YOU. GETTING REAL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, MR FRACTION.
[Insert drawing of Johnny Storm showing up, snapping fingers, and hollering ‘HAY MISS THING’ while She-Hulk and Medusa take turns smashing their heads into the side of the Baxter Building.]
Marvel NOW is rapidly turning into Marvel WHY.
First of all, that cover looks like shit.
Second of all, I really want to not say this, but that team looks boring as crap. I like Jennifer, I like Medusa, I don’t give a fuck about Scott because he’s boring, but seriously. Seriously. I just don’t and can’t.
Third of all, WHAT THE FUCK, MISS THING, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THAT FRACTION, JFC WHEN WE SAID WE WANTED MORE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTERS WE MEANT GOOD FEMALE CHARACTERS NOT “LOHAN-ESQUE CELEBUTANT”S WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SHE LOOKS LIKE ONE OF JOHNNY’S RANDO GIRLFRIENDS FOUND HIS BEN GRIMM BODY PILLOW AND CUT THE HEAD OFF AND CLIMBED INSIDE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Jen, Medusa….. you deserve better than this, ladies. I’m sorry.
but who the fuck is playing Ant Man? And which fucking Ant Man is it even!?