If you’re broke and you’re not sure you even want a vibrator, there’s probably not much point in getting one.
I love vibrators, personally, but I lived without one for years because I was too young, then lived in a dorm, then I was too poor, etc etc. There is plenty of stuff you can do that will get you off just as well as a vibrator will. Water masturbation is amazing and also cheap (or free, depending on if you have a water bill!).
But if you’re curious about vibrators, just go to Spencer’s. It’s not going to be super fancy or anything, but you can get a small vibe that’ll work for clit stimulation for ten bucks. Don’t know if that makes it more enticing, but there ya go. ;)
Not even a little bit.
(I’m assuming here, by the way, that you’re a hetero female because it’s pretty accepted that hetero dudes get off to lesbian porn. If you’re not, you can send me another ask to correct me, but apart from some minor adjustments, the advice would be essentially the same.)
Just because you aren’t attracted to girls doesn’t mean you can’t get off to the thought of girls having sex with each other. I know quite a few gay chicks that get off to two dudes having sex with each other. There’s a lot of porn that I enjoy that I would never actually want to do or have done to me.
The stuff that you get off to mentally is entirely separate from the stuff that gets you off physically. You’re totally fine, it’s not weird, and it doesn’t mean that you’re closeted. You just like to think about/watch lesbian porn.
I will pretty much answer advice asks as long as you guys want to keep sending them. :) I’ll try to keep it to two or three a day so I don’t flood your dash, but yeah. If you guys keep sending them, I’ll keep answering them.
Honestly, your best course of action is to talk to him and see what exactly he’s thinking.
He might just be a snuggly person and there might be nothing more to it. A lot of people are just physically affectionate; they like to hold hands, they like to cuddle, they want to sit really close. I’m like that with certain people, and there’s nothing sexual about it. It’s just that, to me, some people just scream “CUDDLE ME!!!” and I can’t help flopping all over them and leaning on them and putting my arm through theirs. It doesn’t mean I want to date them, it just means I love them and want to be close to them.
On the other hand, he could find you attractive and be interested in a relationship with you. You say he knows that you’re asexual, and from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like he’s made any unwelcome sexual advances. You’re obviously comfortable enough to sleep next to him, so I assume he’s not setting off any warning bells. Knowing that you’re asexual, he could be testing the waters of physical intimacy without being outwardly sexual about it. In which case, he seems like a pretty legit guy.
But you’ll never really know unless you talk to him, and I’d suggest doing that before too long. And you don’t have to outright ask if he’s into you, if that makes you uncomfortable. You can just kind of casually mention that you’ve never known anyone as cuddly as him and see what he says!
Just remember, if he ever makes you uncomfortable or touches you in a way you don’t like, you have every right to tell him to stop. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been okay with it a hundred times, if you don’t like it or you aren’t into it that one time, he’s got no right to keep it up.
Good luck!! :)
Aww, awesome!!! :) I’m glad I could help!
It’s not weird at all!
A lot of times it’s hard to identify whether you’re romantically interested in someone, particularly if they’re already a friend of yours and you already have some feeling towards them, and because there’s such a wide spectrum of interest but we’ve all been trained to assume that any sort of interest = romance.
Unfortunately, there’s not really any easy way to figure out what you’re feeling. You just have to sit down and really think about what you want from the other person. And don’t be afraid to examine it honestly. You might be confused because you’re interested in them sexually but not so much into a romantic entanglement, and that’s totally fine. I dated a guy once for six months because I assumed that because I wanted to have sex with him, I must also be romantically interested in him.
Turns out, we were just friends who liked to have sex and hang out a lot and when we broke up it was very amicable, and we were able to stay friends afterwards.
So that might be the source of your confusion. It could also be a non-sexual thing where you just love their company and want to spend all your time with them, which can also feel like romantic love. But you should never discount feelings of platonic attraction as less meaningful, because they can be just as strong and hurt just as much when they’re not reciprocated.
You just have to really evaluate what you’re after. Are you physically attracted to your friend? Do you want to marathon the extended editions of LotR with them while you eat pizza and snuggle? Do you want to hold hands and make out and tell everyone that they are your significant other? Imagine scenarios and see how they make you feel.
Go right ahead!
You guys can totally feel free to reblog any of these advice asks. :)
(2/2) Look into concurrent treatment therapy, nutritional counseling, meditation, and movement practices (yoga, dance therapy, kickboxing, etc – whatever helps you deal and makes you feel good). There are a lot of ways to improve brain chemistry and generally make you better able to deal with symptoms when they happen. Also, remember that meds should make you feel like yourself, not like a zombie. If you feel dead inside, they’re not working right.
Excellent advice! Thank you. :)